Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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