don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
