great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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