but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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