I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We named our party play list daddy issues
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
