fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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