1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
