Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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