just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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