He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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