Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
