what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize