Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
