So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
