ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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