Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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