You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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