She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
