im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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