there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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