i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My life is pants optional.
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