Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
