dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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