How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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