Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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