just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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