Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
