My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
