i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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