I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
