My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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