i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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