What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
