Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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