thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
