do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize