just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
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They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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