Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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