He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Two words: blizzard sex
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
