Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize