ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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