meet me or not, i'm out of control
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's blow job season.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
