There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
