Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
