would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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