I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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