Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't turn off my feet"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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