Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I party with great urgency now.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
