I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
