I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
