I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
