First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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