we have pet lesbian snakes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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