i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize