I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
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i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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