I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
