I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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