Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
they need to just BURY HIM!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
