Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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